Choose a
Life
By Carlos
Maldonado, Class of 2013
Winston-Salem, North
Carolina
They shall be My
people, and I will be their God,
for they shall
return to Me with their whole heart. Jeremiah 24:7b
The
screams of the crowd battled with the music coming from the stage, creating a
beautiful mess of noise. However none of the shouts were for the band. Both the
crowd and the band were praising the God of all Kings. I was also in the
crowd--singing my heart out for the God who loved me.
When I
got home from that "Jesus high" I went right back to my sinful
routine, as if nothing had changed. I was never aware of the huge contradiction
between my life in a really spiritual place, and my everyday life. That is,
until recently.
I had
gone to a seminar that highlighted some big points in my life that I needed to
change. I made a commitment to do what God wanted me to do, to stop these sins.
But as always, a week or two passed by and I was back in the same routine. But
something was different this time. I actually saw that my commitment and my
actions were not lining up. Then, one by one, all of my other failures came to
mind.
I was
tired of living that double life. I understood that God accepts us while we are
sinful if we are willing to change, but I did not think that I wanted to
change. I had that double life because I enjoyed both the sin and the time with
God. I could not have both though, and I had to choose just one life. I knew
that God would help me change and become wholly His if I chose Him. I also knew
that choosing the sin would end in many bad consequences and ultimately
nonexistence. I made the right choice.
Unfortunately,
I am still not there; my life is not completely God-filled. Day by day I still
need to, with God's help, resist temptation. It is a struggle, but I am
determined to return to God with all of my heart, not a single part of it
looking for sin.